Productive | Day 180 of my 2023 Journal

I am not sure I like being productive and working to achieve my goals. I am not sure I like my top 3 from the daily to-do list, my set intentions, and my boxing of time. I am not even sure I like this challenge of writing a little story about the past day and reflecting upon it every day for a year.

It seems like a loss of a lot of freedom.

It is so easy to say: “It would be great to do XYZ - it would make us more productive, clear our minds and let us achieve our goals.” It is much harder to commit to setting aside the time for it and to see everything getting in the way as stuff getting in the way.

What if it is not?

I have great stuff on my top 3 to-do lists and meaningful boxes. I read, think and write in the early mornings when everyone is still sleeping. As they wake up, I have conversations, make breakfasts, do yoga, meditate, cook lunch. It is a good flow. Afternoons seem to be set aside for the adventure or task of the day, elements I choose freely and enjoy doing.

Yet -

The mindset can get in the way of flow, especially of kindness and family time. A phone call is a distraction, a child sharing a thought is getting in the way, and there is rarely time to stop and look at the birds.

I am not doing this structured thing very often; I just played with it the past weeks - and it has advantages, especially the top 3 things and the critical reflection: WHEN am I going to do the things I decide are important?

Yesterday I did not take a single photo, so this journal entry is kind of strange. I did do all the things on my top 3, and I did enjoy my time. The most important conversation I had was with my 17yo son about this topic, how to set aside time for “nothing,” and how to plan with space. I do not want to run in circles around whatever comes up, and I do not want to tick boxes and discipline myself. I want to find the space between the two, the balance.

Let me know if you have any tips. For now, I think my most powerful weapon is meditation.

Love and light

Cecilie Conrad

Thank you for reading
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