Slow | Day 4 of my 2023 Journal

Jan 4, 2023

By Cecilie Conrad

I do slow stuff, and there is no logic to it. I knit, and I play the handpan, and I draw, and I spend hours in the kitchen. I sit down to watch the colors of the sunset or paint the flowers in the garden.

There is no logic in slow. It would be so much more rational to go for results, for efficiency, for achieving more, faster, better.

But the thing is this:

The irrational, intuitive presence is where real life is lived. The wine and the laughing and the warm sun rays on the cheeks, the days spent walking in nature, not going anywhere in particular, or the afternoons with the wool in my hands, or the drawings I sit with for hours while listening to Beethoven. Or the zen of cooking complicated meals.

It is a trap we can all fall into, to think we need to be so organized, so structured, to have our finances and our workouts, and our carriers and our educations on a leash, making sure we get up early and work hard to achieve our goals on all levels. And then we run. We run and run and run. From the moment we wake up until the second we sleep. We run to tick all the boxes, to improve, to grow, to earn more, to learn more, and achieve more.

Yet - we lose everything. In reality, the good life works the other way around. The structure, the focus, and the discipline are all servants of the good life. Of course, we need them, but we need them to make space for what is essential, to ensure we have time for sunsets, handmade presents, art, music, love, laughter, silence, and beauty.

I am currently knitting a Hogwarts college pullover for my oldest son and more secret projects for others of my loved ones, which makes no sense. Yet I enjoy it immensely; it makes so much more sense than all the rational things I could have done. It makes sense in my heart and soul; that is where I want to live my life.

Love and light

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