I find it intriguing: What is a stranger anyway? In the 80s we said: “A stranger is a friend, you have yet to meet”. Is it that simple? If so, maybe I do not need to write this blog post, because we all know already?
Af Cecilie Felumb Conrad | September 21, 2019
I find it intriguing: What is a stranger anyway? In the 80s we said: “A stranger is a friend, you have yet to meet”. Is it that simple? If so, maybe I do not need to write this blog post, because we all know already?
But do we? Really?
Do we dare share our life with someone, we did not know already?
Do we dare share it with our friends?
Would you let someone move into your house for a week or a month or a year?
Can you do without your morning routine?
Is it too private to be tired?
Can you be silent and just hang out?
See, the thing is, there are many versions of this. Our learning ourney probably started with the amazing workawayers we had in Copenhagen, where young people moved into our home and shared life with us for variating periods. Some stayed only weeks, some stayed months. And I do remember the first time, how it did change us.
In what way, you may ask? Well – we learned, wonderful people, are coming our way. And we learned, sharing life with a “stranger” is actually opening life. It is more options, it is so very interesting. Every experience was different. Every experience changed some perspectives, added some culture, opened our hearts, mirrored our lifestyle and made us think.
And we like thinking.
we learned, wonderful people, are coming our way. Sharing life with a “stranger” is actually opening life
When we arrived in Magalie and Keith’s house that late afternoon in June, we had never met each other before. Not in this life anyway. We had exchanged a few textmessages, and only been “friends” on facebook for a week or so.
When we moved out nine days later, we were friends for life. We were probably friends for life after the first 24 hours or so, but I am sure, you get the point.
So, what happened? And why is this so very right? There are many answers to this question, each connecting to a life level.
Very early in our travels, we realized, the actual adventure is the people. There are castles and art, rivers, beaches, cities, music, food. But the people, they are the true treasure. This is one of the reasons it makes sense to move in with strangers.
The adventure is the people
We could rent houses or sleep in the van or find som bed and breakfast, just camp out in the van or in a tent, but we do not want to be tourists. Our full time travel life is our LIFE, and we want to live it. As fulltimers, we are not visiting and we are not on vacation. We are always at the right place at the right time, at the exact spot on the planet, where we are supposed to be.
It is somehow complicated to explain how this works. If I try, I risk to sound like an ultra hippie, and maybe I am. But I actually skip my meditations most mornings and just live in the flow. My meditations are down to short ones, and I do not really sit down to feel my way.
Rather I feel my way all the time. The guidance system is not too complicated: If you feel off, something IS off. Then we need to stop and feel more. Sit down and knit or cook a meal, the answer will come. Act, when we KNOW what to do, otherwise do nothing. Have clear intentions, pay good attention to your goals, go straight for them, say yes – but have no hurry. Let go and relax, all will come at the right time at the right place.
This sound so very easy, and it is not. Rather it is simple to explain and a challenge to master. We are working on it. And when I say, our compass is our heart, it is because, we do feel it with your hearts, in the heart, physically. The less it is the mind and the more it is the heart, the more clear everything becomes.
This sound so very easy, and it is not. Rather it is simple to explain and a challenge to master.
It is a real challenge, as we humans communicate by words, and often explain each other things. Doing so makes things very complicated to me. Often I just know. I just know what to do, where to go. Very often, I don’t know why.
The tricky part, like in all aspects of life, is to find the balance. Can I explain it? Do we all agree? Did I stop long enough to wait for that deep knowledge or were I too busy? Do my inner critic or doubt get in the way, so I can not really feel my heart?
So here we are, I am trying to write a blogpost about moving in with strangers, caught in the trap of trying to explain why.
The real answer to why we do it is: Because I just knew it was the right thing to do. Finito.
And in deed it was. We moved in, all awkward, yet natural, very tired, in need for showers and food and sleep – and Keith and Magalie were warm and welcoming, tuned perfectly for the situation, even though they had never done this before. We had no trouble at all feeling at home. Within 24 hours the two large families had found a rhythm, and we started to share life.
This is exactly what it is all about. Living with strangers, or friends or extended family provides exactly this intimacy and deep meaningfulness. Visits are so short and like a kind of pause from daily life. It can be so wonderful to have lunch with someone or co-visit a museum, but it is not the full picture. When you live with people and go through the full cycle from the toothbrush to supermarket, from showers to stargazing at, from cooking to bedtime stories – things change.
There is a different peace in the relations. We can play and talk and help each other out, but there is never any stress. You can ask a question one day, and get the answer the next day. Everyone has enough time and peace.
After deciding to move in with strangers, after listening to our hearts, and deciding to do something kind of crazy, the everyday life sets in, the co-living.
There is no way it is possible to put up a mask, to try to be something, you are not. This can be done for some hours sharing a meal or a coffee, but it would be very stressful to play a theater for days and days. From early morning to late at night.
So, we are ourselves. Not to say, we are not, when we just drop by somewhere for a few hours, but there is a difference. We have to just hang loose from the very beginning.
At the same time living with other people brings the best out in all of us. We want to share our perspective and our lifestyle and our vibration from the best ground possible. We want to answer questions, be polite and smiling. All the questions our hosts ask us, makes us think and it reminds of what is important.
This makes us become the best version of ourself, training the mental muscles, pushing us closer to our goals.
I have to end this text, where I very often end my blogposts. With gratitude. The lessons, we learn from sharing life with other people, with the amazing people, who invite us and co-live with us for a while are so valuable, so precious, and we are deeply grateful for the moments, the insights, the perspectives, the fun and the love. In the gallery below, I share short glimpses of all the adventure, it became to live with Magalie and Kieth specifically, and Magalie has been so kind as to create a video, inviting everyone to dare do the same.
PS
We have done this before. We have been moving in with strangers twice at Gran Canaria winter 2019. Second time was cheeting, as we had met these “strangers” before we actually moved in.
Read about our other experiences here.
And another note: We are always open to new experiences, and if this resonnates with you – to let a family move in and share life for a while – do not hesitate to contact us. Our plans are always written with a pencil and we might just find it the excact right thing to do to join you. Often if you feel it, it is because it is right – right?
Email me at cecilie@re-bel.dk or send me a whatssapp/textmessage at +4531223007
May the light shine on you
East, West and Home – week 2019 / 38