So, Tuesday, we had the funeral of my father. A heavy one. I am not sure, how I can reach out with this. Burying our loved ones is a heavy burden of life, and letting go all together is meaningful and beautiful. Often we call the ritual “the last goodbye”, but actually it is not. We all know this.
I said it in my speech to my father, and I can say it again here. When someone makes the transition to the next level, leaving this life and the rest of us behind, we let go so many times. As I said, we lost my mother in April, so I know. I am in the process. And I know, we will say goodbye to my father in many details of the life we will live. He is in my language, the little things I say, and the outbursts when i stumble my toes, he is with us when we watch the Tour de France or sharpen our knives, and we will be sad for some time, then slowly it will change to sweet memories and gratefulness.
What can I say? In reality, I am sure, there is a life outside this life. I will not even call it an afterlife. I am sure, there is a Higher Purpose, a Deep Meaningfulness, a Big Plan, and that we all need to stay tuned, stay connected to our souls, as they are forever connected to God. In this way, I know all is good, even when we loose someone. Yet, I am human in an human life with human emotions, and letting go of my parents have been a tough one. I felt squeezed, crushed, falling apart, I felt not me, I felt numb, silent, and lost all of my initiative, all of my energy and most of myself. It did not help to have the flu and to be in Denmark.
After the funeral we did a walk around the whole group of people, saying our goodbyes, as we were flying out only a few hours later. Another level of goodby, a lot of love felt, a lot of connection, a lot of meaningfulness.